AGAIN, I NO LONGER USE THIS LJ. IF YOU WANT TO STAY IN TOUCH THEN ASK ME HOW.
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I don't use this LJ any more but........
MY ex is lying about me and slam-talking my name. i have never once done that to her since we broke up, except what i wrote in my PERSONAL PRIVATE PAPER journal. There are TWO SIDES to the story so I am going to share MY SIDE, since she is LYING and causing drama after all of this time.... and talking this shit to some people who WERE my friends...

HERE ARE THE ENTRIES FROM MY PAPER JOURNAL.

THEY ARE FROM *AUGUST* I HAD MOVED ON AND FORGAVE HER, something SHE can't do apparently.... funny thing is that she was slam-talking MICHAEL before they got back together... There are witnesses to this and now she is doing the same BULLSHIT to me.

AUGUST 26TH @))* FROM PAPER JOURNAL.
As it turns out- I am a terrible, horrible, no good very bad person. (I must have the biggest heart of anyone i know, for I can forgive people- NO MATTER WHAT and my love is unconditional... I know I'm awful! *sarcasm*)

It really isn't worth it to care about people. People USE me! Most everyone thinks that I am 110% awful.

Am I the freaking devil? I must be delusional because I do not see how I am a horrible person, as a whole. I do not see it. ES< I HAVE done bad things and SO HAS EVERYONE ELSE. i have learned my lessons and learned from my mistakes. If I am such a horrible person then why do I feel NO MALICE, NO HATE, NOTHING ILL OR MEAN TOWARDS ANYONE? WHY WHY WHY?

Yes, i have jealousy issues. Yes, I am needy and dramatic. Yes i was suicidal after my mother passed away. I laid in bed and cried a lot... I still do. I was stressed to the max over the new baby and my mother's death. I am HUMAN and I felt HUMAN emotions. Excuse me for not being all sunshine and roses every day right after she passed.

People see delusions and partial truths- WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE. Am i the only person on earth who sees people as a whole, the good, the bad, the ugly and all circumstances making them who and what they are?

Why me? i want to OD and be with my mom.
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August 27th 2008
So Becky went into delusion mode. She wants to believe that the only reason we were ever together is because she was high all of the time. NOT TRUE, matter of fact she QUIT ALL DRUGS while with me to try and get pregnant with my husband's child. mmmhmmm... and we were "best friends" for four years before we got together adn rarely were we "high."

She is the LEAST sympathetic or empathetic person that I have ever met. She is the one who told me to"forget" my mom because "she's gone." She can not see the world from the perspectives of others and lives in her own crazy dream world. I am perplexed by her. YES, she came to my mother's funeral and it seemed that she cared tehn. However, after she was put into the ground, in Becky's opinion, I was just supposed to "forget about her and move on?"

Sorry to say- It's NOT that easy! NOT AT ALL!

She did not understand why I woke up in tears, why I would layin bed for hours after waking up, why I went to the Crisis Intervention Unit THREE TIMES because i wanted to die.

FUCK YOU, BECKY, SERIOUSLY! i never wish anything bad upon anyone but I hope that when her mother dies she thinks back to the things that she had said to me and the way that she treated me after my mom died... and I hope she thinks of me and feels my pain. I hope she gets a new perspective.

When I ponder these happenings I question why all of this even bothers me. Why I still care at all about Becky. ... Or what she says or does?

Maybe it is because evil little me can FORGIVE and move on... I should have STOPPED cARING when she said what she did about my mother, how heartless she was. Or maybe I should have stopped caring when she tried to get knocked up by my husband.... Nevertheless, I should have STOPPED CARE.

FUCK HER.
______________________________-
I have nothing to hide and I want MY SIDE of the BS DRAMA fucking shit out there, since SHE BROUGHT IT UP and SHE started the shit-talking, I want everyone to see MY side of the story as well.

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The moment of truth
I am not going to be using this Lj anymore. It is FAR TOO overwhelming and hard to keep up with. I keep up with the friends that are TRUE FRIENDS and that I trust, but otherwise I just can not read all these communities, and dramas, and just in general I CAN NOT keep up with this LJ, thus I will be leaving it and no longer posting here.... I've realized how much it bores me and I just can't keep up with it.... I like it smaller, more private, drama-free, etc... So peace and love to you all... feel free to cut me at any time because I won't be back on this LJ.

PS- I DELTED EVERYONE FROM THIS LJ BECAUSE IT IS DEAD TO THE WORLD NOW AND IT WILL NO LONGER BE USED.

PEACE.
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